Last Friday I wanted to feel particularly comfy at work, so I donned my oversized flannel button down and the coziest scarf I own. Suffice it to say casual Friday never felt so awesome. I love that I can pretty much wear whatever I want to work, it makes life so much easier!
So I'm not going to sugarcoat this week-it's only Monday evening and things have already been really tough at work. Some of the kids I teach at my afterschool program are just so challenging and it's taking a toll on me mentally and physically. I am in need of some prayer! Sometimes I'm not even sure I'm doing the right thing. Am I even any good at teaching? Is it the kids, or is it something I am doing wrong? Do I even want to be responsible for 20 little lives when I can barely take care of myself at times? There are days when I wish I would have figured out sooner that there were other things in life I could have done. I could have went to school for theatre, music, or fashion merchandising- but instead I decided to take the safest route possible (for me) and go to school for elementary education. I felt like it was the right decision at the time, but since I've started working different jobs in the field of education I'm finding more and more that I don't enjoy it and it is extremely stressful for me. What are my options now? I've just been thinking about a lot of things lately, thanks for bearing with me.
On a happier note, I called my mama and got to talk a bit about life. Also, Sean took me out to my favorite diner to make me feel better (we had some gift cards to use-bonus!). I got a grape soda and talked about everything and the world seemed a bit brighter after that. These days come and go :) I'm lucky to know that even when I feel a bit lost I always have direction and purpose in my Heavenly Father. I may not be loving some trivial things in life sometimes, but as long as my heart is with the bigger picture that is what matters. My Lord will never leave me, He is faithful and comforting. I know that in time He will lead me down the right paths and to the right people. Maybe there's a reason why I am at this place in life-perhaps there are people I need to interact with, relationships I need to make and build before moving on to the next stage in life. I just can't see the whole spectrum yet. Perhaps I never will-that is for my Jesus to decide! My older sister put it into words eloquently spoken to her by God. He gave her a story about a weaver weaving a beautiful tapestry on a loom. On one side, the picture is pristine and lovely-but on the other side it is full of tangles and knots-the struggles we must go through to weave our life's story. Read it here if you are interested. I know it touched my heart!
I didn't expect to write something so heavy when I sat down to my computer. I only hope that maybe it spoke to some who needed a little encouragement today!
You are loved by God, and He sees how the trials and experiences you go through fit into the bigger picture-even if you can't sometimes.
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Flannel Shirt, Boots, Jeans- Thrifted
Scarf- Gift from my sister :)